Sunday, October 29, 2006

Same-Gender Marriage--a Heterosexual Invention?

It is now not quite two months since Jim and I were legally wed at the City Hall in Toronto. I've already posted on this blog the homily which I composed for that wedding service. Although the City Hall ceremony is a "civil ceremony" there was a tremendous amount of freedom to craft the service to suit the couple. We chose to use the wedding rite found in the United Methodist Book of Worship. It's a very Episcopalian-like service containing lots of well-crafted prayers. I did some very light editing, but was pleasantly surprised to discover that very little editing was required to remove either sexism or heterosexism.

The familiar introduction of the service refers to the Bible story of Jesus' attendance at the wedding feast at Cana--a story in which "bride and groom" play no part except as the excuse to party! There is also a reference to the biblical analogy that compares the relationship of Christ and the Church to the relationship of husband and wife, but in the modernized United Methodist rite there is absolutely no reference to gender differences between husband and wife, for example nowhere in the rite is there a statement that the husband is "head" of the wife as Christ is the "head of the church."

Someone has already pointed out that modern marriage has already been changed by modern heterosexuals who have removed the gender differences between husband and wife. With these gender differences removed there is no longer any reason to deny marriage to same-gender couples. Heterosexuals, in effect, created "gay marriage," long before gay people began to take advantage of it.

Here is the "Greeting" from the beginning of our wedding service:
Friends, we are gathered together in the presence of the God to witness and bless the joining together of James and Steven in Christian marriage. The covenant of marriage was established by the Creator, who made humanity for companionship. With his presence and power Jesus graced a wedding at Cana of Galiliee and in his sacrificial love gave us the example for the love of one spouse for another. James and Steven come to give themselves to one another in this holy covenant.
And here is the "Prayer of Thanksgiving" from the conclusion of the service--a prayer which I especially liked:
Most gracious God, we give you thanks for your tender love
in making us a covenant people through our Savior Jesus Christ and for consecrating in his name the marriage covenant of James and Steven. Grant that their love for each other may reflect the love of Christ for us and grow from strength to strength as they faithfully serve you in the world.
Defend them from every enemy.
Lead them into all peace.
Let their love for each other
be a seal upon their hearts,
a mantle about their shoulders,
and a crown upon their heads.
Bless them in their work and in their companionship;
in their sleeping and in their waking,
in their joys and in their sorrows;
in their lives and in their deaths.
Finally, by your grace, bring them and all of us to that table where your saints feast for ever in your heavenly home;
through Jesus Christ our Lord, who with you and the Holy Spirit
lives and reigns, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
Amen and Amen!

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