Transgender Pastor Speaks for Himself

The Rev. Drew Phenix delivered the following statement in a session of the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church. Formerly, the Rev. Ann Gordon, Drew Phoenix is a female to male transgender person. The statement is informative and articulate!

Statement to the plenary session of the Baltimore-Washington Conference
May 24, 2007

Last fall, after a lifelong spiritual journey, and years of prayer and discernment, I decided to change my name from Ann Gordon to Drew Phoenix in order to reflect my true gender identity and to honor my spiritual transformation and relationship with God.

My transition to live fully as the male I know myself to be is very personal and deeply spiritual. As a Christian, I worship God – I AM. People frequently asked Jesus, “Who are you?” His response was, “Who do you say I am?” “Who do YOU say YOU are?”

I believe that our spiritual path is, in great part, the answer to: Who am I? I am ...

I realize that my transition may be confusing and surprising for those of you who have known me for years but were unaware of what I was going through. I am glad that I finally have the opportunity to share.

It is my intention and hope that, by sharing my story – my relationship with God and my spiritual journey – we will commit ourselves to becoming educated about the complexity of gender and gender identity and open ourselves to those in our congregations who identify as transgender.

When I was born, society declared that I was a girl, and my parents named me Ann Gordon. But for as long as I can remember I have felt like a boy, acted like a boy, dressed like a boy and wanted to hang out with the boys. And for the first several yeas of my life, my parents let me by my boy-self. In fact, I was referred to by everyone in our small town as my father’s son, Dave Gordon’s son.

So it was very difficult when I reached puberty to be pressured by family, friends, church and community to conform, to dress and act, like a female. At the time (unlike now), there was no language or body of knowledge about gender identity, and certainly no available medical expertise, to help me describe and understand the disconnect I was experiencing between my physical, external self and my internal, spiritual self. I identify as male. The gender I was assigned at birth has never matched my own true, authentic, God-given gender identity … how I know myself.

Fortunately, today, God’s gift of medical science is enabling me to bring my physical body into alignment with my true gender. I am making this transition under the care of an excellent medical team. I am grateful for their expertise. They have been instruments of God’s grace for me.

As I continue to transition, to fully claim myself as a male, I find myself coming home to the Child God created me to be. I find myself joyful, whole, and peaceful. And I find myself even more effective as a pastor.

You may ask what effect this is having on the church I am currently serving, St. John’s of Baltimore City. I can tell you that St. John’s is growing and thriving on its Discipleship Adventure. In the past 5 years, membership has quadrupled, for the first time in years families with children are participating, stewardship has tripled, several new ministries have been initiated, and the congregation has plans to begin renovating its old, historical building in order to be more efficient, effective, and relevant in its vision and mission.

As I have chosen to transition, the congregation has studied, listened, and prayed in order to understand and embrace the meaning of my transition within my call to ministry and within our call as a congregation. My prayer, and greatest concern always is that the congregation continues to grow and thrive.

Gender identity diversity is not easy for most people to understand, as we have been steeped in an either/or, male/female-only understanding of gender. It is hard to believe that our bodies do not tell the whole story about what we are. I assure you that I am not one-of-a-kind, that there are many people like me in our congregations who are suffering with the disconnect that I have felt.

Jesus’ central message is that God’s love and grace extend unconditionally to all of us, not because we look a certain way or have a particular identity, but because we are all children of God created in God’s image. Each of us is a beloved child of God. No exceptions.

Today, in your congregation, in your communities, are young people and adults struggling with who they are and how they fit in. Maybe their families do not understand them; perhaps their friends have isolated them. They are wondering if they fit into the church. As Christians it is essential that we communicate to them God’s unconditional love and their worth and value as children of God made in God’s image. You can begin that process today as I stand here and witness to the complexity and joy of God’s creation.